Potiki Project- Chapter 26.5

Potiki Chapter 26.5

Tangimoana

I remember the night so vividly. I can close my eyes and picture it all. I see the black of night illuminated by the red and white lights, burning bright.

I will never forget what I have done.

We were drinking yet not drinking, all of the workers and my cousins and my brother and me, sitting around the fire. I was in a better mood than I had been in all week, almost happy even, for what was about to come. Maybe it was this that my mother noticed.

‘Tangi, Pena, James,’ she had said, ‘It is late. Aren’t you tired?’

‘We’re all right Ma, don’t worry about us,’ James replied. Mum looked at my face, and I did my best to keep a calm expression. She seemed to believe us and relaxed just a little, heading back to the houses with the others.

My mum and dad gone off to bed. So had my brother Manu and Granny Tamihana and porangi Aunty Mary and everyone else. It was then, under the cover of the darkness that our creation of the destruction began. There had been no complicated planning, no detailed scheming. All of it seemed to be a simple, mutual understanding. As I looked into the eyes of the others sitting around the fire I could feel them. The feelings… my own feelings, of rage, hate, sorrow, confusion, anger. The feelings the rest of us seemed to share.

I simply nodded to my older brother, who stared at my face, letting me read his expression; he did not need to say it aloud for it to be understood. We looked around the fire and saw everyone was ready. Quietly, we slipped into the dark of the night, weaving our way through the trees.

The older ones… they did not and never will understand the way my brother James and the workers and my cousins and the rest of us understand.
Things have changed over time, and some traditions must be sacrificed if we were to keep the rest of ourselves.

It was my youngest brother who had put it the best, as we played our war games when we were young. He said the enemy would try to take our precious colors, our lights. I am much older now and that was long ago, but I still remember much of what he said. Deep down I think I knew that it wasn’t just a game, that one day it would come true. I always wish it didn’t, but it has.

We know that the enemy has come to take the precious lights in our lives. They have already taken something even more precious than that, and they will still hunger for so much more. We know that they will stop at nothing to reach out and steal everything from us, grasping the stolen spirits into their claws like ravenous animals and squeezing and mangling them until there is nothing left. My brother who is yet not my brother saw this. I am sure he understands.

We know this, and we knew at that time what needed to be done. We know now what must always be done in order to save our colors and our lights.

We came upon the dull, grey structures and went right to work without a word; nothing needed to be said. Everyone understood one another and we all knew what needed to be done. Everything passed by so fast, it was almost like being in a dream, or maybe a comforting end to what was a nightmare.

The torch was slipped into my hand, and I embraced the flames gladly. With swift movements the structure began to fall and burn, returning to the nothing from which everything has come.

I remember all of the crashes and all of the noise. The crackling of the fires, the loud thuds as the pillars fell and cracked, the explosions now turned against those who they once served, the splashes of machines being taken by the sea, steady movements from each of us as we crept as quietly as we could in the night.

I looked around me and saw everyone stepping back from the flames, which had become too big for us to stay. I dropped the torch and led the others away, beginning to head back. We stood for a moment at the edge of the site, all of us lined up, our silhouettes cast against the bright orange and red. We stood and observed what had been done and what may be done again in the future, if need be that is.
But we know it will be needed. This way will always be needed.

I stood, staring at the flames and smiling, silently laughing under my breath. What had been done to our people, the feelings that our people had felt, they have now been repaid.

Those bastards deserved every bit of this.

The new lights and sounds coming from down the road, drawing closer and closer, they did not frighten us, but we left all the same. We would not be scared, but we would not be stupid. We returned to the land to rest after the job had been done.

I peeled my clothes from my body, colored with soot and sweat, just as everyone else was. As I lay down to sleep, exhaustion finally caught up with me. I closed my eyes, thinking of what was to come tomorrow and almost everything that would follow after that.

That night I dreamt of a tree, standing tall and filled with wisdom. He spoke of a warning to me for the danger to come that I already know will happen, but he also gave love and thanks.

That morning of the following day was also so vivid. I remember the smiles of my mum and dad, genuine and relaxed, and I knew that they agreed with my actions now. I remember the men that came to question us, being called to the courthouse in the city. I remember that in the end, they had no proof. My brother and my cousins and I walked out of the building free to go, at least for that time.

Of the many things that the elders have taught that my cousins and I have not agreed with, there is one thing that I am certain is the truth.

What has happened before will happen again. And again after that until much, much after I and my own children and their own children have gone from this earth. The cycle will continue for all eternity, the spiral of different colors and sounds.

But I am ready, and so are my brother and our cousins and our friends that will stand with us. We have been declared free, but this may not always be true. We know we must keep fighting in order to keep our peace.